Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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