Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
