i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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