I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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