we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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