ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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