You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Bring me that man meat
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
