how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
