ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
