I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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