Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
