yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
