forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im having a threesome with these popsicles
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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