i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think my nap took me to another dimension
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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