i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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