i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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