its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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