I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
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You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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