guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
