you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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