Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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