Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
