The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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