So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this will be a night to untag.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
