Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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