discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
