"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
its liver damage thursday
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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