Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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