I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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