the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
