Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
