I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
