just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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