She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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