we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
