I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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