Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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