The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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