Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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