Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize