I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize