call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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