just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
