whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
