It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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