in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
