you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
