Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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