Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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