I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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