drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
