I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
