It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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