Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I supernannyed him into submission
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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