Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
