Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
