okay pat passed out under dana's car
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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