No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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