stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
