Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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