Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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