So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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