My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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