P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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