I saw his package. It spoke to me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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