Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
