just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
