Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
