ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
