I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
