Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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