hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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